I Stopped Hiding My Disability, and It Opened Up New Worlds
their faith, political views, education status, addiction, neurodiversity, physical challenges—the list goes on and on. But they all start the same: “I’ve never told anyone this …”
Hiding things, especially from loved ones, is exhausting and isolating,
and it prevents us from getting help and support. So why do we all do it? It’s that primal shame for being different and the fear of being rejected for our differences. It’s such a universal experience, yet we all feel like we can’t talk about it. It’s time to change that.
Unhiding can set you free
In my book, I describe four steps to unhide whatever it is you’re hiding:
- Acknowledge what you’re hiding. It’s harder than you think! Say it out loud. Write it down. But you can’t change something you don’t acknowledge.
- Invite someone in. Find a person you can talk to about what you’re hiding.
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There’s immense power in bringing it out of the dark—even if you just start with one other human being.
- Build your community. Go online—there’s a support group for everything, no matter how niche. It’s incredibly freeing to be able to recognize that you’re not the only one suffering this way and that others have done exactly what you’ve done to cope.
- Share your story. Be an example to others of unhiding. Share the freedom that comes with it. This becomes a positive loop, inspiring others who in turn inspire their loved ones.
Unhiding is the key to connection. When we do this, we create a beautiful safe space where everyone can feel seen and loved for who they are and know that they belong. Hiding holds all of us back—unhiding sets all of us free.
Ruth Rathblott, MSW, is a renowned diversity and inclusion speaker, nonprofit leader and TEDx speaker
