I Stopped Hiding My Disability, and It Opened Up New Worlds

Everyone is hiding something—but embracing that secret part of yourself can change everything My birth was a little more dramatic than the standard way a baby enters the world. Within minutes of coming out, I was whisked away into another room while doctors gave my parents the difficult news: I was born missing my left hand. I’m sure it was quite jarring for them. An entire hand was just … not there? As surprising as it was at the time, it isn’t super rare: Every year, around 1 in 1,500 babies born in the United States has a “limb difference,” according to the CDC. Having extra fingers or toes is the most common limb difference. My form, called amniotic band syndrome, is more rare, occurring in 1 out of every 10,000 to 15,000 births. Regardless of the form the disability takes, these families have to learn all the ins and outs of navigating that disability—from finding accessible travel to building confidence in their kids—from day one. Indeed, that announcement of my limb difference would come to define the rest of my life, and it might have been a disaster if it hadn’t been for what happened next. I’m told that a nurse bundled me up, took me back into the room, placed me

in my mother’s arms and instructed: “You will take her home. You will love her. You will raise her like you would any child. You will treat her as normal.” Which is exactly what happened.

A normal childhood … sort of

My parents took that admonition seriously, and for the most part, it was great. I played sports, acted in theater, excelled in school, participated in student government and had playdates with friends. While I did get some stares and “polite” questions about my disability, I am lucky because I wasn’t made fun of for my limb difference.

As kids do, I quickly learned to adapt, working around the “missing” hand. One of my earliest memories is my father trying to teach me to tie my shoes. I gently nudged him out of the way because his two-handed method wouldn’t work for me, and I figured out a way to do it with one hand.