I Stopped Hiding My Disability, and It Opened Up New Worlds

important for people with a disability to be able to talk about it openly and why it’s so important for people without a disability to learn how to be an ally and an advocate. Here are a few steps you can take to do that.

Educate yourself

This starts with understanding and examining your own beliefs about disability. Challenge negative thoughts you have about people with different disabilities. Read books, listen to podcasts, watch shows or talk to others to understand their experience better. (Not sure where to start?

Check out the resources guide on my website.)

Watch how you ask questions

Everyone’s curious about my missing hand—and curiosity is normal—but before you ask someone a question about their disability, ask yourself, Why do I need to know this? Are you asking out of kindness and a desire to support them, or is it to satisfy your personal curiosity? Examine your motives.

Be respectful of boundaries

Don’t make assumptions about people’s abilities. People with disabilities have learned to accommodate and adapt in ways you can’t even imagine. Ask how you can support someone instead of just taking over. And please respect physical boundaries—just because someone looks different, it doesn’t give us permission to touch their difference without permission.

Another thing to keep in mind? Not all disabilities are visible, so please don’t demand to know why someone has a disability placard on their car.

Everyone is hiding something

If I’ve learned one thing through my advocacy work, it’s that hiding is universal. My missing hand is just a tool to talk about it. One of the things I do in my workplace seminars is give each person a blank postcard, tell them to write what they are hiding and then (anonymously) mail it back to me. People have shared hiding mental-health issues, family challenges, abuse, financial problems, their age,