I Stopped Hiding My Disability, and It Opened Up New Worlds
Everyone I shared this with—friend, co-worker or boyfriend—took it
well and said kind things like, “You shouldn’t hide it” or “It’s no big deal.” But their words didn’t matter to me. The only words that really
mattered were the ones I was telling myself, that story of how I was awful and unworthy of love. Hiding feels a lot like lying, and it’s hard to build close relationships when you constantly feel like you’re lying to your loved ones. And the more you hide, the harder it becomes to stop hiding.
Why I stopped hiding my disability
Interestingly enough, it was a date that convinced me to stop hiding my limb difference.
When I was 38 years old, exhausted of hiding and so lonely, I met someone special and invited them in. The combination of me finally feeling ready to unhide and his willingness to go through the unhiding process with me was exactly what I needed. For the first time in my life, I allowed someone to really hold my limb, look at it, take pictures of it, touch it, love it—love me.
That relationship ended after 10 years, but I kept the self-love and compassion I learned from it. From that point on, I saw my limb difference as something unique and beautiful about me, something that should be shown, not hidden.
How unhiding my arm made everything in my life better
It was a transformational experience, and through that process, I learned to love me too. This ability to love myself changed how I lived my entire life, and it made me happier.
It started with physical care: For years, I’d gotten frostbite on my left hand every winter because I’d shove it so deep into my pocket that I wouldn’t feel it freezing. Unhiding it meant learning to take care of it—
learning little things like how to keep it warm and protect it from the elements.
My relationships also improved. I learned that being comfortable with myself made other people more comfortable as well. Talking about my struggles gave them permission to talk about theirs too, and I was able
